When I was walking into work this morning, there was a goose on top of the parking deck, and it was standing at the very corner, honking it’s bleeding* head off.
I thought it looked like a jumper, so in my head I started to try to talk it down.
“Hey, goose, what’s the deal man? Just step away from ledge, everything will be fine. Just step back, it’s cool, no one wants to hurt you.”
“Hooooonk!”
“I know, I know. We all get a little bit pissed off sometimes, but we can’t climb on top of building every time a plane flies too low. Can we?”
“Honk.”
“I knew you’d see it my way. Now just step back from the ledge, and everything will be fine.”
“Honk, honk.”
“That’s it. Just climb into my arms. Yeah, everything will be fine.”
“Honk honk hooonk?”
“Sorry, I’m already engaged.”
On a related note, ACWF and I were driving someplace this weekend, and on the side of the road there were two ducks walking down an embankment towards the road. I pulled away from the embankment to the left to give the ducks some room, and it’s a good thing I did too. The duck in front tripped and stumbled down the hill, and then did a total faceplant onto the street. It was the most ungraceful thing I have ever seen in the animal kingdom.
*UK bleeding, not blood bleeding
