AnonymousCoworker

There’s a Christian Evangelist that likes to frequent a high foot-traffic corner near my workplace. He’s pretty stupid, and there was at one time a group of atheists who used to sprinkle themselves among his listeners to question his belief system. He would flounder, and then fall back on the reliable, “We can’t understand omnipotence” or whatever cover-all rot he chose to expound.

Well, he’s set up again today. I like to make a point of walking directly through his presentation, as I have as much a right to do that as he has a right to try and increase the size of the herd. Baa.

Typically he’ll stop the presentation and offer me some materials, or invite me to join the crowd. If I’m having a good day, I’ll politely tell him to, “Fuck off.” If I’m having a bad day, I’ll tell him, “You, your imaginary friend, and the horse you rode in on can go fuck yourselves.”

Today he had already sunk to a new low. He had recruited about half a dozen children, who looked to be between the ages of 7 and 9, to hand out his ridiculous literature, and to beckon people to join the “conversation.” What the fuck is he doing involving children in his ridiculous evangelism? Is he trying to keep people from calling him an asshat? Does he think people may consider a life with Christ because some children thought Jesus was a cool enough dude?

Or is he, like all other radical, braindead evangelicals, trying to hamstring the voices of reason by creating a societal roadblock? Don’t like Jesus? Why, then you’re an anti Semite! Don’t want to listen to my propaganda today? Well, you must hate children.

Asshole.

I don’t like to get too political on this blog. I used to, but now I use this blog as a sort of “politics free” zone. I didn’t really want any harping, or argumentation, or anything like that. I just wanted it to be around for fun.

The reason I mention all that is because some people might view my statement as a political jab, or something like that. Rest assured, it is not. I’ve got a degree in English, so the language is close to my heart. To see is misused, abused, mangled, or its rules disregarded breaks my heart.

I can’t wait until we have a president that is a natural orator.

The art of using the spoken word to convey emotion has been lost to many people in this country. Where Thomas Jefferson said, “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle” we have current politicos railing against the “librul media”. Case in point, consider any number of “Bushisms” that I shall refrain from highlighting here.

But it’s not just Bush. It’s the whole damn leadership of our nation, left, right, and middle. Not a damn one of them gives a whit about linguistic aptitude. The low-brow zinger has replaced the tradition of speaking eloquently.

The worst of the bunch are political talk show hosts, radio commentators, and talking heads. They proliferate the dumbening of this country at an exponential level. With their limited (though overused) knowledge of latin maxims and regurgitated buzzwords, you can’t listen for more than a few minutes without hearing the same idea tautologized three different ways. I imagine that for every minute they spew their insipid musings, entire states’ standardized test scores plummet. I say they are the worst because they get paid to speak for a living, and they could more closely be compared to monkeys flinging poo.

Finally, I’m really tired of analogies. I can’t stand it when an analogy is used to explain a political issue. It denigrates the intelligence of everyone involved, and it belittles the importance of the issue. Speak your mind, recite the facts, then let people figure it out and decide. Stop with the bullshit analogies.

Please, please let our next president, douchebag or dark horse, know how to use the language efficiently, eloquently, and with zest.