I was a Boy Scout.
Before I go any further, let me answer some questions or comments before they are posed.
No, my scoutmaster didn’t molest me.
No, my scoutmaster wasn’t a child molester.
No, no one else in the scout troop was arrested for molesting children.
No, I didn’t molest anybody either.
No, no molesting took place whatsoever.
Are you done with your childish comments? Good.
I started out as a Cub Scout when I was a little kid. I learned some bits about nature, identifying trees, animal tracks, birds, etc. I learned a little about science (physics of gravity, Bernoulli’s principle, basic chemistry), how to shoot a bow and arrow, how to fire a gun, how to use a safely knife, how to start a fire, and I learned a bunch about how to take care of myself with few supplies.
As a Boy Scout I learned much more. I learned how to cook and bake. I learned how to pack to take up as little room as possible. I learned first aid. I learned lifesaving. I learned about local, state, and federal government. I learned about surveying. I learned about sports. I learned about nutrition. I learned public speaking. I learned the basics of speaking another language. I learned how to control a canoe, kayak, and raft. I learned how to efficiently ride a bicycle. I learned about camping, hiking, backpacking, and all types of basic outdoor principles.
And that’s just what I was supposed to be learning. I also learned how to smoke, I learned how to walk on leaves without making much noise. I learned how to turn someone’s tent around while they were still in it. I learned how to quickly adjust my eyes to darkness. I learned how to swear (to the point that a scoutmaster told me to stop because it was making him uncomfortable). I learned that a gallon of water weighs 8 pounds, and that you can use foot powder as a suitable deodorant.
I also started getting over my racism, homophobia, and closed-mindedness about religion.
I’m not saying that the Boy Scouts of America, as a national organization, are good people. I’m actually quite certain that they’re not. But our troop was great. There was a bit more Jesus going around than I would currently accept, but there was no overt hubbub made over the scout who was an atheist, or the scout that everyone thought was gay.
I’m not sure if I would put my kid in the scouts. But I know damn well that 90% of everything I’ve learned in life, I was given a primer in scouts.
P.S. Moss does not always grow on (x) side of the tree, and you can’t start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, technically.
