Archive for February 10th, 2005

My Lenten Appeal

It seems like people are posting about Lent, and subsequently, what they’re giving up for it. That usually leads me to make a comment about Lent that is central to my decision to become atheist.

“I’m giving up Christianity for Lent.”

Two years ago, just before Lent, I was an Agnostic. The Lent before that I was a Theistic Agnostic, and the Lent before that, I was a recovering Catholic dabbling with different religions. Before that, I was simply Catholic.

My family is rather Catholic (I say “rather” because the other half of my family are crazy Baptists, which is redundant*) so my transition from Catholicism was slow, and at times painful for them. I felt more and more constrained by the dogma and tenets of the institution of religion, and then of the faith.

I explored other religions, read Zen Flesh and Zen Bones, and contemplated Buddhism. It wasn’t for me though. It was then that I came across the term “Theistic Agnostic”. Theistic agnosticism is the idea that one believes in a higher power, but thinks it ignoble and arrogant to try to understand or describe that power. It felt good to be a theistic agnostic. It meant I could still have spirituality, but it wouldn’t be based on a “glorified cult”** or specific set of rules.

Then, I decided that my spirituality was still based on foundational tenets, so I decided to abandon the whole “theistic” thing, and go with straight agnosticism. I was literally noncommittal about the existence, or non-existence, of any god or gods.

Finally during Lent one year, my aunt asked me what I was giving up.

“I’m giving up Christianity for Lent.”

“Ha ha! Seriously though. What are you giving up?”

“Seriously. I’m giving up Christianity. I’m an atheist.”

She stared at me, shocked that I had uttered such a vile thing. She didn’t think I was funny anymore, and she thought it was rude of me to say something like that. Her rebuke to my decision solidified my atheism to this day.

Apparently, she thought it was rude for me to say that I was an atheist and deny her god. My very presence was an affront to her religion. However, I didn’t think it was rude of her to say that she is Catholic, and deny my lack of a god. For some reason, the “Judge not” part of the Bible must not have accessible to her memory at that time.

This brings me to an issue that I have to deal with every Lenten season- suddenly the atheist is fair game (more so than usual) for disrespectful behavior. Every time you mention God, or Jesus, or your faith, or the symbolism of your faith, it presupposes my atheism, and believers have no problem with that. However, whenever I mention my lack of belief in God,*** or Jesus, or my trust in science over faith, or how other’s symbolism is what I would call superstition, I get attacked.

“Why don’t you believe?”
“Don’t you want to go to Heaven?”
“You’re going to Hell!”
“You’re a Satanist!”****
“Jesus loves you.”

If I can support you in your faith, why can’t you support me in my faithlessness?

All I’m asking is that you enjoy your faith, your religion, and your customs, and don’t let anyone try to take them away from you. But also be sure to support other’s in their faith, or lack thereof, or else I’ll have to remind you of when the Romans fed Christian’s to the lions for their difference of opinion.*****

* Just kidding

**How I viewed all organized religion at the time

*** Or gods for that matter. I don’t believe in any of them, not just yours.

**** I don’t believe in the Devil either.

***** On a lighter note, one of my coworkers (a Catholic) and I were talking about having temporary tattoos made of the Lenten ashes. That way the Catho-lites wouldn’t be able to rub off the ashes before they went back to work, and the kids would think the whole ritual a bit cooler. We also talked about making the whole communion thing into a “Lunchables” style treat. I got my first communion in 2nd grade, and I know I would have thought it was awesome if I had a snack pack with some unleavened bread and juice-box of blessed wine in a vacuum sealed container with Buddy Christ on the front to eat while I was in church.

Blast from the Ass… I mean Past… I mean… I’m awesome!

This morning in the shower I started thinking about old shows from my tween-ish youth, and for some reason the first two shows I thought of were “Hey Dude!” and “Salute Your Shorts“.

I remember coming home from school and watching this drivel for hours. It would be those two shows, Darkwing Duck, and of course, Full House (Jeebus that show was terrible. I can’t even believe I used to watch it. Anyway, I checked out the site, and it warmed my heart to see that my youthful crush Adrea Barber (AKA Kimmy Gibbler) got her degree in English, and then went back to school to pursue a graduate degree in Women’s Rights. Very cool.).

After I got out of the shower, I got dressed and went into the living room to eat my shredded wheat. I turned on the TV, and not wanting to see whatever blathering idiocy the morningtime talking heads were orgasming over, I flipped around until I stumbled upon the TV show of afterschool TV shows, MacGyver. I watched it for a few minutes with waning interest until whom should appear as a guest star? Richard Roundtree. Yes, THAT Richard Roundtree. (The French seem to have a strange obsession with Blaxploitation.)

So I’m watching MacGyver, and all of a sudden it’s MacGyver featuring Shaft. In the next scene, we get ninjas.

What. The. Fuck?

How did this show ever get cancelled?! It’s awesome! Friggin’ ninjas for Christ’s sake!




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