AnonymousCoworker

Idea borrowed from Vagabond. (I promise I’ll give it back.)

Fake Music Quiz
1.) What is the name of your imaginary band?
This Radio Station Sucks

2.) What is the name of your imaginary band’s first album?
This DJ Sucks

3.) What is the name of your imaginary band’s hit single?
You Suck*

4.) What instrument do you play in your imaginary band?
Bongos

5.) Your imaginary band is like a cross between….?
Reel Big Fish and Sublime

6.) What is your imaginary side project called?
(Unpronounceable Symbol)**

7.) What imaginary juicy dirt will we discover about your imaginary band on VH1’s Behind The Music?
We’re bigger than Jesus. Seriously, he was only like, what, 5′8″. Minimum height requirement in my band will be 6′0″.

8.) Give us a sample lyric?
Beeeeeeeeeeaver
Beeeeeeeeeeaver

It’s a wonderful pet
if you want a pet that eats wood

Beeeeeeeeeeaver
Beeeeeeeeeeaver

It’s not bad- it’s good.

Beeeeeeeeeeaver
Beeeeeeeeeeaver

It’s got a tail that looks like a waffle

Beeeeeeeeeeaver
Beeeeeeeeeeaver

I can’t think of a rhyme for waffle.

(Chorus) How about awful?

9.) What song does your imaginary band cover?
Dizz Knee Land- Dada

10.) What real band joins you on tour?
Beulah

*Can you imagine hearing that on the radio? “Here’s This Radio Station Sucks, with You Suck, off of This DJ Sucks.” That would be awesome.

**After the success of This Radio Station Sucks, I’m going to change the band name to an unpronounceable symbol, and not tell anyone how to say it, and see what type of pronunciations develop. It’s as much a sociological/linguistic experiment as it is a band name.

While driving through Pennsylvania recently, I noticed a billboard on the side of the road. It said, “New Year’s Resolution- Don’t Drink and Drive.”

Wow, thanks Pennsylvania Committee for the Creation of Asinin Slogans! If it wasn’t for your billboard my resolution may have been to drink and drive MORE frequently, instead of less frequently as you suggest. However, I’m still left with some questions.

Does this mean that murder is okay, or not? I didn’t see a billboard, so I’m not really sure.

Also, can I call Rick Santorum an asshat-wearing douche-of-all-trades, or do I have to refer to him as “Senator”?

Finally, I was wondering if you were planning on creating a billboard reminding us to breathe for our health. Sometimes I forget, and it makes the room go all black, and I wake up with a headache.

When I talk to people about anything, I use my hands. My hands help punctuate my thoughts, and I’m sure you could figure out what I was saying if you watched my hands and couldn’t hear me.

But it’s important that you hear me, because I do something else when I talk. I use sound effects.

Anything that could make a sound, does make a sound. I’m not talking about onomatopoeia. I’m talking about me making kung-fu like noises to illustrate my point. I’m not sure how you would spell any of the sounds I make, and I’m going to refrain from trying, lest I create the sound of something, and you think it sounds one way, and me know it’s not quite right.

I also sometimes make noise in place of talking. I do it all the time at work, and I do it especially when I’m driving. If the CD player isn’t on, or my passengers aren’t speaking to me, I’ll start making noise. I’ll squeeze my lips together and make a quiet, though high-pitched, squeak similar to that of an elephant. I’ll also suck air past my tounge while holding my teeth closed to make a sound like a maraca or a bug. Or I might just gently poke you in the arm while I make the martial arts noise of a punch or kick landing a solid blow.

ACWF and my brother, mokiejovis, both try to “hit” me back but they can’t make the noise, so they have to rely on me to make it for them. I instead make a sound like a whiffle ball bat swinging wildly through the air, as if to say, “Ha. Your weak attack has no effect on me.”

Seriously, this is how I behave in public. Come back later for more fun with sounds.

By the way, you can find all those awesome sounds, and more, at this site.

Here’s me as a superhero.

I tried to get it as close as I could to what I actually look like, and would wear. However, I couldn’t make the rock hard bod a little bit less rock hard. Or a lot less rock hard. And I couldn’t get the hair quite right. But that’s pretty much what I look like, mismatched clothes and all. I threw the tie on because I thought this would be a special occaision.

Thanks to Freedom Girl for the original link to the superhero builder.

Lifted, completely without his permission, is this post from MooCow:

Hannah - of the Banana Tree - has an entry in the Jones Soda label contest thingy. Go vote for her and then maybe someday you’ll be walking through your neighborhood Piggly Wiggly, Kum and Go, Kwik Trip, or other funnily named store and be able to pick up a bottle and say “I read the blog of this guy who reads the blog of the girl who took this picture,” and then your friends will be so impressed that they will buy you the bottle of soda (or “pop” if you’re one of those kind of people. And by “those kind of people” I mean freaks).

Go vote. Do it. Doooo it. Cmon. You have nothing better to do.

So let’s make sure this blogger wins, cause bloggers gotta stick together. Go vote! And visit MooCow.