Archive for December 21st, 2004

Swooky

When I was a kid I used to get Kids Discover Magazine which was awesome, and probably the basis for most of the useless facts that I know.

I also used to get another magazine, and it was much less educational, and rivaled only Us Magazine in terms of drivel per page, brainlessness per issue, etc.

Unfortunately I can’t remember what this second magazine was called, but I do remember that at one point they were trying to interject a new word into the cultural lexicon. Though when they explained it, they may have said, “Hey kids! You know this one word? Well, let’s make a new word… just for kids! Get everyone you know to use it! Yeah!” I don’t think they used a single period in the whole magazine. It’s as if they thought that a liberal application of exclamation points would make us start acting and talking like game show announcers.

Anyway, the word in question was “swooky.” There’s a definition here but it’s not quite the same definition that the brainless kids’ magazine had in mind. They wanted everyone to use it as a synonym to “cool”.

I tried it for a few days with my friends, and I think they probably beat me up. Regardless, I’m now the only person I know who ever used the term, and for some perverse reason, I’m compelled by the magazine’s original intent to inject the word into our daily vernacular, and what better way to do that than in a blog.

Swooky means cool, pass it on.

Holiday Card from Microsoft

I worked with Microsoft tangentially this year, so I guess that warranted a card from them. Though honestly, I would have preferred if they had just burned in Hell.

The card has a picture of the little house from the “Home” button on Internet Explorer, and the words beneath it read, “Home for the holidays.” That doesn’t even mean anything! It’s as if I sent you a card, with a snapshot of one of the widgets from my widget factory on the front and a little text that reads, “Look at the widget.”

As if the front of the card wasn’t bad enough, the back is an actual advertisement for Internet Explorer. Wankers! I guess they found out I was using Firefox and are trying to bring me back to the Dark Side. As for spreading Christmas cheer, all this made me want to do was spread a full clip of hot cheer into a display of Microsoft products at the local Best Buy.




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