Went to see “National Treasure” last night. I wouldn’t call it a “treasure” so much as I would call it a steaming heap of crap. I imagine that “National Streaming Heap of Crap” wouldn’t draw the type of crowds Disney likes, though John Waters should consider that title if he ever decides to reprise Pink Flamingos.
It wasn’t that National Treasure was unwatchable, but that if you knew anything about history, or science, the plot was laughable. The entire story hinged on dozens of historic and scientific assumptions that should not have been as important as they were. Plot holes, people. Plot holes big enough that I’m moving in, and setting up a registry at IKEA. (Why not furnish your plot hole with huge pieces of poorly made, disposable, Swedish furniture? More on that in another post.)
See the movie, just do some personal dumbening beforehand. This movie is great for people who can suspend disbelief. I can no longer do that, so I used 2 pints of beer.
This is the end of the post, unless you want to read a plot spoiling comment below:
I warned you…
Highlight below to see the plot/ending spoiling comment:
At the end, when they find the treasure (big surprise. There was an audible gasp of shock in the theater when… oh there I go lying again.) one of the main characters bends down to look at some scrolls. She says, “These scrolls are from the library in Alexandria,” and then fondles them inappropriately for a moment. I laughed out loud imagining the side of the scroll she was looking at (that the camera couldn’t see) said, “Property of Library of Alexandria, do not remove.”
